Fear of Rejection

Welcome back for the ninth day of Writober. Today, we’re exploring the universal fear of separation by looking at fear of rejection.

Fear of rejection makes me think of a middle school dance, or being picked last for teams on the playground. However, the fear of being socially excluded can make a person display needy and clingy behaviors. It can also make a person avoid interactions.

Rejection is something every artist knows well. Especially as a writer and/or poet, rejection letters are the norm when we’re doing the work of submitting. This year to take the sting out of rejection, I’ve been playing rejection letter bingo.

It started with a rejection letter bingo card in the Writer’s Relief newsletter. I liked the idea of each of my rejection letters being a possible square on my bingo card. The idea got me submitting, and when the rejection letters started coming in, putting stickers on that bingo card made me want to get more rejection letters, so I kept submitting. Those first rejection letters still held the familiar sting, but now, after a couple bingos, rejection makes me think about where to send my next submissions.

The phrase: Antonomasia, Synecdoche & Metonymy

These rhetorical devices substitute a detail of something for that thing. Antonomasia is the substitution of an epithet or title for a proper name (e.g., the Bard for Shakespeare), or the use of a proper name to express a general idea (e.g., a Scrooge for a miser). Synecdoche is when a part of something is substituted for the whole, as in “hired hand” representing a worker. Metonymy is the name of an attribute or adjunct for that of the thing meant, for example suit for business executive, or the track for horse racing. How do you use these substitutions in your writing?

Fighting Fear of the Blank Page: Sometimes fighting fear of the blank page means not looking at the page at all.

Dictation: Though I haven’t had the patience to train a dictation program, I have had fun results speaking my work into a recorder and then typing up what I recorded. Either way, when you get to the page, you already have words to start with.

*Quick Note about links in this post: I am an amazon associate, so most of the links in my post will take you to amazon products. If you buy from these links, I will make some pennies which will help me pay for this site and my creative endeavors.

OctPoWriMo

Poetry Toolbox

These are quick exercises that I hope you’ll do every day. We will build on these exercises throughout the month.

Word list: Write down the first ten words you think of when you think of fear. Any words at all. Anything that comes to mind. Then choose your three favorite and say them aloud a few times until you hear the accented and unaccented syllables (if more than one syllable) and notice the duration of each syllable. (Inspired by Frances Mayes’ list of a hundred favorite words in The Discovery of Poetry)

I created this Excel Spreadsheet for you to use to collect and explore your fear words.

OctPoWriMo wordlist Download

2. Sensory Imagery: In your journal or a word processing file, fill in these lines as quickly as you can. Notice they are slightly different from last week. You may want to revisit one or two in more detail if you’re inspired and have time.

I see

I hear

I carry

I smell

I follow

The empty room

The tug of

I taste

The cold down my spine

I witnessed

I touched

(Inspired by a week one exercise in the poetry chapter of The Portable MFA in Creative Writing)

3. More Sensory Imagery: I find, a great place to start when exploring abstract ideas, is to brainstorm sensory imagery. Write down the first few things you think of to answer these questions:

What does rejection smell like?

What does rejection taste like?

What texture is rejection? What does it feel like to the touch? What temperature is rejection? Where do you feel it?

What does rejection sound like?

What color(s) is rejection? What is a symbol of rejection? What does it look like?

4. Choose one poem to study all week: Read your chosen poem again. Look at one stanza at a time. Any new ideas? Learn more about the poet. Read some other poems by the poet. Are any lines still giving you trouble? Write about it in your journal.

Poetry Building

Antonomasia is the substitution of an epithet or title for a proper name (e.g., the Bard for Shakespeare), or the use of a proper name to express a general idea (e.g., a Scrooge for a miser).

Synechdoche is when a part of something is substituted for the whole, as in “hired hand” representing a worker.

Metonymy is the name of an attribute or adjunct for that of the thing meant, for example suit for business executive, or the track for horse racing.

Doug Kearney’s Sharpened Visions: A Poetry Workshop on coursera.org has a fun lesson on synechdoche and metonymy.

Example poem: Today we’re looking at The Lobelias of Fear by Bernadette Mayer, copied here from poets.org for educational purposes.

The Lobelias of Fear

Bernadette Mayer

there are maple trees, one, two, three
but wait there’s 5 more, 2 behind the bungalow
and lots in the poetry state forest
I hear target practice from far away, it’s
probably for shooting deer, bears and dinosaurs
but how will we, still alive, socialize
in the winter? wrapped in bear skins
we’ll sit around pot-bellied stoves eating
the lobelias of fear leftover from desperation
last summer’s woodland sunflowers and bee balm
remind us of black cherry eaten in a hurry
while the yard grows in the moonlight
shrinking like a salary or a damaged item
when we return in the morning for a breakfast
of harvest petunias sprinkled with wild marsh mallow

Today’s prompt: Write a poem exploring the fear of rejection using synechdoche, metonymy, and/or antonomasia.

Form: If you’re looking for more of a challenge, write your poem as an etheree. An etheree is a syllabic poem with lines building from one to ten syllables.

Writober Flash Fiction

Write a story with a beginning, middle, and end with conflict that leads to change in less than a thousand words (no minimal word count) inspired by one of the images in the Separation folder of the Writober 2024 Pinterest board. How has fear of rejection affected your character(s)?

NaNo Prep

Today, let’s get back to exploring our MC through his or her relationships: family, friends, love interest(s), cohorts, workmates, people s/he interacts with every day.

You may want to create a character web to explore how the people the MC interacts with relate to each other.

Halloween Photography Challenge

Take a photograph that depicts rejection or fear of rejection and link to your photo in the chat.

Get Moving

Now that you’ve read all the prompts and have all these ideas running around in your head, it’s time for motion. Some suggestions (repeated from last week):

Go outside. Breathe deeply, and stretch. I very seldomly buy clothes, but I picked up these very comfy pants that are great for morning stretching. They are warm, so soft inside, and are tapered at the ankle so they stay in place while stretching and moving your body. I also really like having pockets, even in my stretch-pants.

Go for a brisk walk. Bring along something to record your voice. If you don’t have a cell phone (like me), you may want a pocket mp3 player to record any thoughts that pop up while you explore your neighborhood. I’ve been using this model for music, listening to audio books while I mow, and recording sounds and thoughts for many years now. Nothing fancy, but it’s all I need.

Take a hot shower. I got myself Aqua Notes Waterproof notepad and pencil for the shower, and I really love it. I often jot down words and rhymes or quick lines that pop into my mind once it’s warmed by hot water.

Fear of Rejection