This is the first Sunday of the of the month, and there is no A to Z on Sundays, so today’s photo-challenge is a little different. I’ll be using the photos I took for Ambition and Beauty to create visual poems guided by a homograph.
Cleave
Cleave is an enticing word because it is both a homograph and a janus word. Cleave can mean to adhere, stick, or cling to, and be faithful. It can also mean to split or divide, to cut, sever, or to penetrate or pass through.
Cleaved to Ever Rising Ambition by Maria L. Berg 2022
The Prompts
NaPoWriMo
Today we have a form prompt. The challenge is to write a glosa, a new form to me. Because I’ve been studying Dylan Thomas for my Portable Poetry MFA, I chose a quatrain from “On a Wedding Anniversary.” This poem, and this final stanza especially, express both meanings of “cleave.”
Too late in the wrong rain They come together whom their love parted: The windows pour into their heart And the doors burn in their brain. ~Dylan Thomas
Debarking holding hands in a warm shower heavy with hibiscus and gardenia days bright as birds of paradise they so quickly forgot while finding daily worth tarnished and scuffed by the grind Their fingers and palms had fit a comforting realization too late in the wrong rain
It isn’t that they never agree but perhaps that they are too alike their campfires permeate explosive summer nights heat lightning sparks over hot heads and sharp tongues like thorns hidden in blades of grass After storms, swarms, and scourges, blame bandied and volleyed back-biting, they come together whom their love parted
Petrichor signals the turn along with dripping orange deciduous skin dries and cracks as do voices lips split easily as do all brittle husks empty and lifeless leftovers mildew seeps into spaces like an intruder hiding in a closet They close the doors and turn away searching for sunlight through filthy panes the windows pour into their heart
Odors accumulate in a stuffy house closed off from dreams to snuff out those hard feelings before they attack again The ghost’s cigars continue to surprise the wrinkled senses each flavor of smoke still yells fire and the doors burn in their brain
Dictionary.com defines beauty as “the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).” Notice that it says the quality is present in the thing or person, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so wouldn’t a better definition be “a quality perceived to be present in a thing or person?” And where do these perceptive filters of beauty come from?
This morning I searched images of “beauty” on the internet and saw photograph after photograph of heavily made-up young women. Beauty is an industry, an ever-shifting unattainable ideal to sell cosmetics, fad diets, and lifestyle products. And sadly, that industry manipulates people into such a desire for that ideal that they will mutilate themselves and destroy their health.
But that is superficial beauty. For my abstraction of beauty, I tried bokeh with my 70-400 zoom lens for the first time. I used my snowflake-cut lens cover filters I created last fall in the mirrorworld and found intense pleasure and deep satisfaction in the overlapping colors and patterns.
A Quiet Beauty by Maria L. Berg 2022
Stream of Consciousness Saturday (#SoCS)
Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness is “tip.” Linda challenges us to use the word “tip” as a noun or verb. Here’s a quote from my morning pages this morning:
The tip of my pen caresses the page. I touch the tip of my nose with my fingertip. Where is the tipping point? When beauty tips. That’s a fun play on words. Here’s a tip: if truth is beauty and beauty truth; just stop lying. The next tip was on the tip of my tongue, but got stuck in my teeth. At the tip, tippy top, there’s nowhere to go but down, and make sure the tips of your skis don’t cross.
Maria L. Berg 2022
Natural Beauty by Maria L. Berg 2022
The Poetry Prompts
NaPoWriMo
Today’s challenge is to write a poem based on a word featured in a tweet from Haggard Hawks, an account devoted to obscure and interesting English words.
I especially liked the lists of terms, like names for groves of trees “A SAPBUSH is a grove of maple trees,” and names for sounds that birds make “To GLACITATE is to honk like a goose.” Since I saw a swallow swooping over the deck yesterday, I chose “To CHELIDONIZE is to chirp like a swallow.” Chelidonize can also mean to beg.
When beauty tips where is the tipping point? Which wrinkle in the symmetrical features breaks the illusion? Is it the crooked tooth in the blaring white smile The slight scar across the bridge or the broken spirit The pitch and timbre or the words The smell of the breath or the skin The taste of the kiss or the cooking?
When beauty tips like a swallow swooping steeply chelidonizing about my doors instead of skimming along the waves filled with ribbons of gold light dancing like a mating dance of tiny electric eels, we have passed the tipping point.
When beauty tips what is the angle of skewed reflection? Which derivative of ideal surface blinds? Will the faulty be given a second chance to see: The generosity behind the crooked smile The courage responsible for the scar The sharp wit inside those tones The chemistry and history ritual and tradition depth and knowledge beneath?
Happy April Fool’s Day. I’m not a fan of pranks or practical jokes, so this in not one of my favorite days, but today being the beginning of a poetic journey, I thought of the Fool of the tarot: head in the clouds, not looking where he is going, about to step off a cliff. Looking at the card this morning, I thought it was a perfect illustration of blind ambition. However, my challenge is to photo-illustrate ambition in my own way.
Dark Green Ambition by Maria L. Berg 2022
Ambition
So what is ambition? The definition at dictionary.com says “an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment.” The fun thing about that definition is all of those nouns are abstract nouns as well. If I boil down that definition, it says, to want attention and do stuff to get it.
How will I create a photograph representing ambition when it has no visual aspects?
I started by looking up the symbolic color of ambition and found that dark green represents ambition, greed, and jealousy–an interesting trio. I took my darkest green Sharpie and wrote ambition on a clear filter. Then, thinking about the fool not looking where he’s going I wrote Fool on a clear filter and encircled it in arrows and stuck it on the world with my fisheye lens.
Foolish Ambition by Maria L. Berg 2022
However, those images do not get to the visceral state of ambition. The letter A bokeh shape filter I made last fall to represent screaming has an arrow shape in its center, so it felt like a good filter for today. I took it into the mirrorworld and created my abstract photograph of ambition.
Today’s prompt is to choose a word that starts with “F” and use it in the title.
The Poem
The Fool’s Foot and Fingers Flying
Head held high, enjoying the sun on my shoulders, I begin my journey with a spring in my step accompanied by the trill of birdsong. My ambition soars through the cumulus clouds, as if helium guides me toward the stars. The scent of the rose I paused to pluck lingers in my nostrils as its thorns prick my thumb and forefinger where I delicately pinch the stem. Wild strawberry and mint delight my tongue. The space beneath my hat, sparking with passionate want, foolishly forgets it is attached to feet, and feet need ground. Bodies have so many needs ambition would like to forget: desire’s nemesis hunger rumbles in my stomach; achievement’s enemy sleep heavies my eyelids; and distinction’s adversary thirst scratches my throat. But I ignore them all, and the nagging bark at my achilles, and keep going, and going until, like a cartoon character, I notice the ground fell away a while ago, and with nothing supporting me, I fall, losing my rose as I flail.
In anticipation of National Poetry Writing Month kicking off tomorrow, I thought I would share my thoughts on a book of poetry I recently enjoyed.
Why I picked it up: I received a free e-book version of One Thousand Good Answers by Sarah Herrin from the publisher through the Library Thing early reviewers program.
My Expectations: I didn’t know what to expect. From the cover, I thought I might read some flowery poetry with dark undertones.
What I liked: This book was a satisfying surprise. Sarah Herrin used poems from her previous self-published collection to create new blackout poems, changing them to positive poems of self-love.
I enjoyed reading the original and blackout poems side by side, showing the complete change in feeling and attitude. The new poems are condensed past the essence of the original poems, as if boiled down to their essential oils, leaving a warm, pleasant scent.
What I didn’t like:
There were a couple of poems that didn’t fit with the feel of the collection in my opinion. I also thought completely blacking out the titles on a couple of the poems were lost opportunities.
Rating: ♦♦♦♦ 4 out of 5
Overall, I enjoyed the idea and the execution of this collection.
Abstract nouns are nouns for ideas, qualities or states rather than concrete objects.
I’ve chosen an abstract noun for each letter of the alphabet. The A to Z challenge skips Sundays, so on Sundays I’m going to print out one or more photos from the week and create visual poetry using a homograph (two or more words spelled the same but not necessarily pronounced the same and having different meanings).
I hope you’ll join me as I explore these concepts and combine them with the prompts for National Poetry Writing Month.
April is coming very soon. It’s a busy month here at Experience Writing because it’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo), and the A-Z blogging challenge. This year, since I photo-illustrate my posts anyway, and was so inspired by one word daily prompts last fall, I thought I would add a photo-challenge to the mix.
How will I do all that AND continue building healthy habits to finish my novels? Good question.
First, let’s look at all the fun challenges and events coming up in April.
National Poetry Writing Month
I started participating in NaPoWriMo in 2018. I really enjoy reading all the different responses to the prompts and the inspiration of the global community of poets celebrating poetry (language(s), perception, symbolism, creativity, imagination) together.
Writer’s Digest also has a Poem-a-Day (PAD) challenge through the month with daily prompts. I like to combine prompts, so I usually write to both.
When I renewed my membership with Academy of American Poets this year, I noticed that I can create my own anthologies: collections of poems I love from poets.org. I’m excited to do that throughout the month (and beyond). They also have special events like poem in your pocket day, and you can sign up for daily poems in your email, if you haven’t already.
Blogging A-Z
I have combined the Blogging A-Z challenge with NaPoWriMo since 2018. I really enjoy this challenge. I get to make up my own topic each year, so it adds another element to the daily poetry. For this challenge I like to explore words and language. Last year I explored Janus words; the year before it was musical terms. Look for this year’s theme on Wednesday.
April Daily Photography Prompts Calendar
I will be putting my one word daily prompts into a calendar like I did last November and December and include it with my A-Z announcement on Wednesday.
Last week, the house had a stroke. I plugged in the air-popper and the lights dimmed. Then part of the house was out of power, and my desk monitor was flashing madly. I ran to the fuse boxes, but nothing was flipped. The overhead light was pulsing and I heard a clicking noise.
I pulled the main switches down then sharply up again. The pulsing and clicking continued. I pulled each of the fuses to the right and then the left, and checked the water heater. It was the source of the rhythmic clicking, blinking rapidly on and off again and again, the beat to the pulsing lights. Not wanting to lose my newish water-heater, I shut it off at the fuse box. I unplugged everything. Turned everything off, and went to sleep with memories of cold showers, and expectations of hard days ahead.
The morning after the morning I called the power company–and they sent someone out and then some more someones and had the problem fixed by the afternoon–I opened the door to my cherry-plum trees in full bloom. I heard a loud electrical hum, and only imagined more electrical problems. I stepped outside and saw the trees writhing with bees in every blossom.
A yard book-ended in pink overnight blossoms pulsing in pollination
{Strange note: I started a draft of this post yesterday. When I came to work on it today, it was published, back-dated to March 8th. The only thing I can think of is the cat walking on the keyboard, and that’s pretty impressive, even for him.}
Today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt “rope” inspired me to get out and take some pictures. Living near water and boats, rope takes on a special meaning of securing connection. Here’s an excerpt from my journal this morning:
“I was tied in knots. The rope fraying, unraveling, the rope tossed, wasn’t fastened at the other end and fell in a heap when I tried to climb.
“Unroped the weak trunk/stalk bends; the boat floats from the dock lost; the vines don’t rise.
“Roped the weak fibers grow strong; twisted and entwined the brittle become bendable; the separable, inseparable; the meek, brave. Rope connects the floating to the stable; tethers the roaming home; anchors the flighty to ground. Rope can tear and burn the skin when held, but also holds the opposing as they pull, growing stronger as they repel.” ~Maria L. Berg
On the Ropes by Maria L. Berg 2022
The dVerse Poets prompt from Thursday was to try the Synchronicity form. I started playing with it yesterday, but didn’t get very far, so I thought I would try again today. The form is a non-rhyming poem of 8 three-line stanzas. Each stanza has a syllable count of 8,8,2. It is in first person and has a twist presented in the last two stanzas.
The Rope
The rope hangs from the reaching branch of the ancient maple next door waiting
Its looped shadow reflects below changing as a breeze whispers through the leaves
I believe it has always hung there, dry, aged, and fraying, yet strong enough
The branch may be the weaker link How much weight will it take before it breaks?
An eagle screams as the others gather and motion me over to join
The threat of danger makes my bare skin erupt with goosebumps as I shiver
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One after another they climb, put a foot in the loop, and swing Scream! Splash!
This time I will dare to let go of the rope swing and fly into the lake
It appears that their new system paid attention to Experience Writing because the first book is blackout poetry which I created examples of and talked about in my post Blackout Poetry Art Day (though I also created a Pinterest collection of blackout poetry), and the theme this year is about creating good habits, to create positive change as I laid out in A Year of Finishing Novels: The first tiny steps. So whether or not I like computer algorithms as part of my life, this one appears to be positive: getting the right books to the right person. I’m excited to review them (look for my reviews over the next couple weeks).
Because I was happily surprised by the selections given to me to review, I added them to my Library Thing library today and saw that I hadn’t added the last Gator McBumpypants book to my page, nor had I ever added any tags to my books. I know I got discouraged by a few people’s responses to my work, but that shouldn’t have stopped me.
It is a truly sad human condition that a bad review can take attention away from the joy on a child’s face when she read the book, or the child that asked if alligators really lived in the lake, giving me the opportunity to talk about the joy of imagination. Or the fact that my books are in my elementary school library. Those are huge successes. I shouldn’t have let the adult judgement get to me. The books weren’t meant for mean, judgy people.
I still have the workings of the book I started in New Orleans when I went back for The Rubber Maids reunion. The trip was an emotional roller-coaster, and when I got back, I went through some major life changes, so my ideas for Gator’s story kept changing. However, looking back at everything I did, this spring might be time to flesh that story out, and create a new Gator McBumpypants for my young niece who is getting close to learning to read.
I want to thank Library Thing for making me feel this way today. Hope is so important and hard to find.
This week was both surprising and challenging. My daily writer’s meditation and novel writing habit almost got me through some very freezing weather and surprise snow, and my feeling of impending doom from world politics. My morning stretching and exercise followed by meditation has really changed my relationship with my body. I’m listening to my body, and feeling like a complete system, instead of an opposing duality of mind and body that I have been for years. However, my mind was eventually worn down by distraction and horrible thoughts of “What’s the point of creation when humans are bent on destruction?” So I took yesterday off.
Set-backs will happen. I feel like giving myself a break was a healthy set-back. But only one day off and I’m finding it hard to get back into my new system. Especially since I feel a need to write more, not less. I’ve had to remind myself to be patient a lot today. Patience is everything when trying to make lasting changes and create systems of positive habits. I just started reading Atomic Habits by James Clear–I enjoyed his email course that I got through the Best Year of Your Life Summit–and plan to talk more about habit systems in my next post.
A Cold Mountain Haibun Poem Interlude
Over at dVerse Poets Pub it is Haibun Monday and Frank has challenged us to contemplate both the work of a poet from the Tang Dynasty and a physical mountain. It’s pouring today, so the mountain is not out, but I know it’s collecting snow behind those clouds.
Cold Mountain Sky
My sky is a giant, cold mountain. Even in summer its glacier keeps it white-capped. It is easy to forget the volcano sleeping inside. Like me, its heat and pressure are hidden, tucked under a thick, calm crust, for now. But it is dormant, while I toss and turn.
You shared your blanket white covering the morning a fluffy surprise
Cold Mountain Sky by Maria L. Berg 2022
Assessment
Last week was challenging. Luckily, the work I’ve done to create a daily writing habit got me through (mostly).
My weekly check-in:
What went right last week? My morning habits are really going well. I added a ten minute vocal warm-up after the full writer’s meditation and before I sit down to write. The cat absolutely hates it. It’s pretty funny. I read a thriller novel from the rather large collection of e-books I’ve collected. I’m finally excited to read one thriller after another until I’ve cleared my kindle. I can already see how I can learn both what to do and what not to do from these books. I used to have trouble finishing e-books, I guess I finally got used to reading on my tablet. I also had one night of (mostly) good sleep without the laptop!! Victory. This week, I’ll hope for two in a row. That would be amazing. But, as I said last week, I can’t try to sleep; I have to let sleep happen.
What didn’t go well last week? Russia invaded Ukraine and I had trouble concentrating on much else. I finally took a day off yesterday, and I’m not upset about it. I’m kind of amazed I got anything done at all last week. A day of distraction watching movies and cuddling with the cat was what I needed. Now, I’m ready to get back to work. I also did not meet my submission goal, but reading thrillers took priority as a novelist.
What small steps will I add this week? This week I’m adding the poetry MFA eight week program. I’ve been reading The Portable MFA in Creative Writing from The New York Writers Workshop and the poetry section interested me. Rita Gabis lays out an eight week plan of writing and reading to emulate a semester of an MFA in poetry. She recommends dedicating forty-five minutes a day to writing poetry. She also recommends breaking those minutes up into small sessions at different times of the day to explore when the optimum time is for my poetic musings. April is National Poetry Month, so I think I’ll start now, fitting the MFA program into my system. Then the second half of the “semester” will coincide with the daily poetry writing challenge. I am also going to try the Sleep Smarter Sleep Makeover again. A lot of Shawn Stevenson’s ideas have stuck with me, and now that I’ve identified some of my deeper issues, and created some good sleep habits, I’m hoping the two week program will be the extra motivation I need to get my sleep habit to stick.
Is it time to increase one of my habits? 750 words each day felt challenging, but I want to get to 1,000, so this week I think I’ll split my writing session into two 500 word sessions and see what happens.
What else did I try? I made a collection of all the thriller e-books on my kindle. There are twenty-seven. I plan to read one after the other until I have read them all.
Accountability
One area that every resource talks about is social accountability. I have found many times in the past that if I share my goals here on Experience Writing, I am more likely to achieve them.
I would really enjoy if you would like to join me in an accountability club. Every week, type your goals in the comments, or leave a link to your post and we can check in with each other to see how we did with our goals.
I tried again to do a Sunday week in review post, and again my work wouldn’t load, so Monday is my Year of Finishing Novels posts day. I am not going to waste time fighting with my internet. My time is for writing novels and reaching my goals. And sharing my progress and what I’m learning with you, of course.
Rewards
As I mentioned in my last post, a habit cycle consists of a cue, a behavior, and a reward. As I began this process of identifying the habits I would like to create, and the habits I would like to change, I found it hard to identify my rewards.
I don’t like shopping. I have everything I want and need, and I don’t have money to spend on things as rewards. I also didn’t want food or beverages to be my rewards. I felt kind of stuck. I wanted to set up these systems to reward my new behaviors, but how?
Then I really looked at myself and thought about times in my past when I was really happy. I went through a period of time when I closely associated with Tigger because I love bouncing. I’m trying to increase movement and exercise, so jumping on my rebounder (small trampoline) became a reward.
That got me thinking that many of the behaviors I enjoy that are not writing could act as rewards for meeting my small goals. With fun activities as rewards I came up with:
Jump on the rebounder
Draw for 10 minutes
Dance Break!
Go take some pictures
Stretch on yoga ball
Put stickers on stuff
10 minute meditation
Play guitar for five minutes
I was also reading Jack Canfield’s Success Affirmations and was inspired to write some phrases to tell myself I am doing great.
I wrote my action rewards and my affirmations on colorful slips of card stock paper, folded them up and put them in a jar, so when I had done my desired action, I could open my reward jar (pictured above), and get a surprise reward.
At first, when I pulled an affirmation out of my word jar and said it aloud, it didn’t feel like much of a reward. Then one day, when I was cleaning out the closet for my meditation, I found an old toy megaphone (pictured above) that has five different voice-altering settings. When I said my affirmation (any of the affirmations out of my reward jar) using the megaphone on either the high pitch, low pitch, or monotone settings, it made me laugh. That felt like a reward.
Celebrations
In Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg takes a different stand on what reward really means. He says the idea of a large reward in the future for achieving your goal isn’t going to work. You need to reward yourself instantly after your behavior (Made me think of training a pet). To do this, he chooses to fist bump and say, “I’m awesome” (Even after he flosses one tooth, since that was his tiny habit that he started with to create a flossing habit).
It’s important to send yourself that little dose of dopamine (pleasure) to get the behavior to stick. Finding what works for you is important. Fist bump and “I’m awesome” didn’t work for me. After thinking about how I respond to happy news and practicing some things, I found clapping three times and saying, “Yeah!” or “Woohoo” in a certain way, gave me a smile and a good feeling of accomplishment.
With my rewards and celebrations in place, I have the tools I need to create and solidify the small changes that will make my large goals possible.
Like the squares of Himalayan Pink Salt I’ve pinched so sparingly for years from the squat jar sitting by the coffee in the cupboard, each word can pack a surprising punch, especially when the salty bite hides in the center of the sweetest treat.
Assessment
Last week was big for me. Some set-backs and disappointments on the sleep goal, but also some break-throughs.
My weekly check-in:
What went right last week? My morning writing habit is going so well. I have started thinking about my novel the moment I wake up. This morning I ran to the keyboard so I wouldn’t forget what I was thinking, and had my daily words before I started my routine. I’m now doing the full writer’s meditation (body, heart, and mind) and getting better at sitting every day. I find that when my mind wanders, it wanders to my novel which is fantastic! I’m moving more and more throughout the day. I have fuller range of motion, and I’m pain free!!
What didn’t go well last week? Sleep is still difficult. The week’s biggest disappointment was a day and night when I felt I had done absolutely everything right, then I got into bed and it was like I didn’t know how to go to sleep. I stared into the darkness for what felt like forever. I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. I gave up and read. It felt like torture. The next day I gave in and slept with the laptop. The next day I read three sleep books. Two of them: Restful Sleep by Deepak Chopra and The Sleep Solution by W. Chris Winter explained why I had been disappointed by my efforts, and they both said the same thing: Sleep is natural; you can’t try to sleep. You have to let sleep happen. I had tried so hard, worked so hard to sleep, I had created an entirely new anxiety keeping me awake. Sounds like something I would do. But no more! This week I will let sleep happen.
What small steps will I add this week? This week I’m adding my voice to the mix. I’m going to do vocal exercises in the morning and sing and play guitar at night after I put the laptop away and before I go to bed.
Is it time to increase one of my habits? I’m happy to say I feel ready to increase my daily writing goal again. This week I’m writing 750 words or more every day. I always said I wasn’t one of those people who writes every day, but that is exactly who I am, and it’s making such a difference in every aspect of my life.
What else did I try? One of the little things I tried last week that turned out to make a huge difference, was a simple Youtube video called Vagus Nerve Reset. The sleep issues and constant state of fight or flight that my poor body has been in both stem from surviving Hurricane Katrina and the the piles of stressors after that. I never stopped being in that survival mode, until now. Since I started these small new habits of motion in the morning and meditation and paying attention to my body, I’ve noticed my range of motion improving and the knots in my back loosening up, but I also had a horrible pain in my right shoulder. I knew it was all that stress not wanting to let go; I’ve held stress in my shoulders since high school, but this was an acute pain that wouldn’t loosen up and was hurting when I tried to sleep. I was almost crying by the time I went ahead and tried the Vagus Nerve video. And I noticed a difference. That same day I did the Full body scan meditation from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Masterclass and though my shoulder was still bothering me, by the end of the meditation, it wasn’t screaming at me. I did the Vagus Nerve Reset and the Vagus Nerve Exercises again the next day and then yesterday was my first pain free day. I was so happy I was dancing and singing around the house all day. It might be a placebo. I don’t care. I’m going to keep doing it and being so very happy.
Accountability
One area that every resource talks about is social accountability. I have found many times in the past that if I share my goals here on Experience Writing, I am more likely to achieve them.
I would really enjoy if you would like to join me in an accountability club. Every week, type your goals in the comments, or leave a link to your post and we can check in with each other to see how we did with our goals.
My goals this week are to:
Write at least 750 words of my novel every day
Add vocal warm-ups in the morning and guitar playing before bed
One story submission and one poetry submission this week
Experience Writing 